The Art of Leaving.

If you had told me at eighteen how far these feet would have traveled by twenty three, I wonder if I would have believed you. I also wonder that if you were to share the weight of a curious life, if I would have carried on…

Younger self,

You will be in love, You will leave this love behind for a new place. Though you will not realize it at the time, After this emotion fades you will not feel the same about another for years. You will go to college, And one day, you won't. You will spend long days working as a waitress to afford the tunnel vision towards adventure your life will have become. At one point, you will work for a man who will teach you difficult lessons. He will be both the wealthiest and loneliest person you have met. Briefly, you will be given a lifestyle you do not believe in. You will accept these gifts and later, it will haunt you. You will place trust in some whose hearts have been hardened by the cruelties of this world, There will be times so lonely you will seek comfort in them and learn they are able to receive love but not yet give it. You realize this, And you will run. This escape will seep into your bones and be woven into the fabric of your soul. It will take you to corners of the globe you could not have imagined in your wildest dreams. Your first Christmas away will be spent alone in a dingy hotel room. Through this, you will learn to speak to strangers, Some of which, who will grow to become the most important people in your life. You will go to India, The train you travel on will break down, There will be a little boy selling milk sweets called Barfi, You will buy some, You will shit yourself, In retrospect, it will be funny. You will learn to live out of a backpack for months at a time, And upon coming home, you will realize the absolute pleasure of a space of your own. Uncovering the next destination will become a way of life. You will discover that this world is a pool of limitless possibility. The strangers you meet will be beautiful and terrible. Some days, Your heart will be so full happiness will feel as if it is rising from your skin, You will relearn love alongside desert plains and waters so clear they mirror the stars. You will also learn that love does not equal touch. The cities you encounter will engulf and the beauty, astound. The adventures will be numerous. You will sail to Cuba by way of the night sky, You will speak to those who by law, are not aloud to be spoken to. You will dance, You will kiss, You will be robbed, You will be drunk, You will chase the thief, You will land your first punch, Your things will be returned. Surrounded by good company you will ride laughing into the night in a 1950's Ford Thunderbird. In retrospect, you will realize how foolish you have been. You will travel on. Haiti will both break your heart and mend the cracks. Some of the greatest wisdom will be given to you by children. They will teach you bravery, They will share everything their small palms have to give. Their resilience will become your northern star. You will leave. One day, you will return and rediscover the goodness that we hold. The journey home will always be the most difficult form of travel. Eventually, you will learn to find the beauty in full circle. Younger self, The path will not be easy, But I beg you, Follow the pull of this world. Love, And for when you are not loved in return, Listen to the strength that courses through your body. Remember to be kind and to thank those that are kind to you. Realize the road you have taken does come with difficulty. Weigh its worth in your life, Find the courage to carry on, And, in times of frustration, learn to push your pride aside. Listen to the knowledge that is unspoken, As you change, Carry the places you have been within you, But always, Keep your curiosity. Try your best to not be dissuaded by those who believe there is only one way to live. Time will be swallowed up by months and years, Friends will come and go. And before you know it, You will be much older than before. Younger self, I have seen what lies ahead, So please, Take this life, And love it with everything you have to give. Because in retrospect, you will be amazed.

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